I have never had a problem understanding or relating to passages of Scripture in which people whether it be Isaiah, John the Baptist, Peter or Paul remark of themselves in light of who God is. Some loose paraphrases: Woe is me, for in comparison to Your holiness, what comes out of my mouth is painfully messy. I am not worthy to even attempt to mess with the sandals that God-man is wearing. Don't look at me, LORD, You're just too good and I'm crazy messed-up. Sign me up as the leader of the mess, the chief of sinners.
Grace is so incredibly amazing when we see ourselves accurately in light of who God is because it cultivates in us humility partnered with gratitude where we can finally begin to look our Maker in the eye and respond to His offer with "Thank you for loving this mess."
But a problem I have experienced over time was the ability to grasp whether God would ever be able to actually use this mess. Continuous second guessing of abilities and giftedness, the ticker at the bottom of my brain displaying all of the mess in my life that should disqualify me from being used by God and the paralytic force that comparison to others has in keeping me off of the field of play. How could God use me?
But in my reading this week, I was given a glimpse into what I would consider to be a beautiful response to this question - it's about empowering grace. It was if God was saying "I am best able to use you when you are most able to need Me." Looking back over my life, specifically in ministry, the times in which I most experienced the fulfillment and satisfaction of being used by God were those times in which I acknowledged myself to be completely unqualified and utterly dependent. When I knew I brought nothing, in and of myself, to the table and surrendered myself fully and desperately, to the work of His grace. I want grace not only to generate a response of humble gratitude toward Him but propel me to live everyday in ridiculous dependence on Him. This is the power of the Gospel...
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2Co 12:9-10)
Friday, October 22, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
He Giveth More Grace
Not my own words but echoed in my utterly dependent heart...
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater
He sendeth more grace when the labours increase
To added afflictions, He addeth His mercy
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace
When we have exhausted our store of endurance
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure
His power has no boundary known unto men
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
Annie Johnson Flint - He Giveth More Grace
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Cor 12:9
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater
He sendeth more grace when the labours increase
To added afflictions, He addeth His mercy
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace
When we have exhausted our store of endurance
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure
His power has no boundary known unto men
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
Annie Johnson Flint - He Giveth More Grace
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Cor 12:9
Monday, October 4, 2010
A Heavenly Welfare System
We're reading a book in one of our classes called "Transforming Grace - Living Confidently in God's Unfailing Love." In one of the chapters he highlights a ‘token economy’ metaphor to underscore our limited view of God’s grace: what I do becomes what I earn. Or in our relationship with our Father: what God gives is in response to what I’ve done. He says that when we mix God’s generosity with our efforts, not only do we become frustrated with our own performance, but we also become hesitant to ask God to intervene and help us when we actually need him.
I went into this section of the book hoping to find some practical answers to how to experience God’s grace. I most certainly found practical but not comfortable. I don’t want to live, as the book puts it “by a heavenly welfare system.” I fight it. It’s humiliating. It’s desperate. It’s dependent. I want to have my spiritual savings account in which I can deposit spiritual acts of kindness, service, worship and, when things get tough, can draw upon it when I really, truly need it. But grace reminds us that we have nothing good to deposit and only Christ from Whom to withdraw.
Even in writing this, I feel myself fighting this notion. It reminds me of one of the practical struggles of being in seminary. My family is now on Medicaid and I don’t like it. I don’t want to receive a ‘hand-out.’ I don’t want to burden an already-broken, in-the-reddest-of-reds government system. But we need it. Without it, we would incur so much debt through a c-section than I could probably ever pay for in ministry. I do the same in my prayer life. I fight asking God for help and unfortunately make Him into an over-burdened entity. But He loves to give good gifts to His children. This experience of grace, daily grace, something God loves to pour out through Christ, is so hard to understand but so freeing to live within. I want to stop fighting it. He sees my debt, daily, and declares it paid in full through Christ. So I can approach Him with confidence and humility saying:
Father,
I need you AGAIN. Send grace.
Your ever-dependent and grateful son,
Chad
I went into this section of the book hoping to find some practical answers to how to experience God’s grace. I most certainly found practical but not comfortable. I don’t want to live, as the book puts it “by a heavenly welfare system.” I fight it. It’s humiliating. It’s desperate. It’s dependent. I want to have my spiritual savings account in which I can deposit spiritual acts of kindness, service, worship and, when things get tough, can draw upon it when I really, truly need it. But grace reminds us that we have nothing good to deposit and only Christ from Whom to withdraw.
Even in writing this, I feel myself fighting this notion. It reminds me of one of the practical struggles of being in seminary. My family is now on Medicaid and I don’t like it. I don’t want to receive a ‘hand-out.’ I don’t want to burden an already-broken, in-the-reddest-of-reds government system. But we need it. Without it, we would incur so much debt through a c-section than I could probably ever pay for in ministry. I do the same in my prayer life. I fight asking God for help and unfortunately make Him into an over-burdened entity. But He loves to give good gifts to His children. This experience of grace, daily grace, something God loves to pour out through Christ, is so hard to understand but so freeing to live within. I want to stop fighting it. He sees my debt, daily, and declares it paid in full through Christ. So I can approach Him with confidence and humility saying:
Father,
I need you AGAIN. Send grace.
Your ever-dependent and grateful son,
Chad
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