I have never had a problem understanding or relating to passages of Scripture in which people whether it be Isaiah, John the Baptist, Peter or Paul remark of themselves in light of who God is. Some loose paraphrases: Woe is me, for in comparison to Your holiness, what comes out of my mouth is painfully messy. I am not worthy to even attempt to mess with the sandals that God-man is wearing. Don't look at me, LORD, You're just too good and I'm crazy messed-up. Sign me up as the leader of the mess, the chief of sinners.
Grace is so incredibly amazing when we see ourselves accurately in light of who God is because it cultivates in us humility partnered with gratitude where we can finally begin to look our Maker in the eye and respond to His offer with "Thank you for loving this mess."
But a problem I have experienced over time was the ability to grasp whether God would ever be able to actually use this mess. Continuous second guessing of abilities and giftedness, the ticker at the bottom of my brain displaying all of the mess in my life that should disqualify me from being used by God and the paralytic force that comparison to others has in keeping me off of the field of play. How could God use me?
But in my reading this week, I was given a glimpse into what I would consider to be a beautiful response to this question - it's about empowering grace. It was if God was saying "I am best able to use you when you are most able to need Me." Looking back over my life, specifically in ministry, the times in which I most experienced the fulfillment and satisfaction of being used by God were those times in which I acknowledged myself to be completely unqualified and utterly dependent. When I knew I brought nothing, in and of myself, to the table and surrendered myself fully and desperately, to the work of His grace. I want grace not only to generate a response of humble gratitude toward Him but propel me to live everyday in ridiculous dependence on Him. This is the power of the Gospel...
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2Co 12:9-10)
