Our apartment next door is empty. Our neighbors, with whom we shared both a wall and two years of life together in close community, have graduated and moved on. We packed up their home into the moving truck, gave our hugs and waved them good-bye. It wasn't until a few hours later I realized they weren't just going on vacation for the summer. They were gone and not coming back. And the reality is I might not see them again this side of eternity.
Seminary is a microcosm of life. New life. We've seen our second child born here and spend three weeks in the ICU. We watched other little lives come into the world (at least ten and counting), say their first words and take their first steps. Death. Not only did I say good-bye to our neighbors on the sidewalk in front of our apartment, I also prayed there on a cell phone with my grandmother on the other end the day prior to her death. I took a hiatus from Hebrew to drive home and say our final good-byes. Relationships here form with the understanding that there will inevitably be a good-bye. There's no avoiding the fact that we will all very soon leave this place.
So do you take the risk and invest in relationships which will sooner rather than later end? Seminary has a way of reminding me of the temporal nature of life. We are going to leave this world. We are going to have to say good-bye. But God asks us to make the most of our days. To invest in relationship. To feel the sting of good-byes knowing that a reunion of epic proportions awaits. Being less afraid of the good-bye and more interested in the God whose glorious presence becomes our inheritance and reality.
Thank you, seminary, for teaching me a whole lot about life.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Unpausing Purpose
I didn't believe going in that seminary would so radically affect my sense of purpose. I don't want seminary to be a four-year holding pattern where purpose gets paused. My wife was gracious to offer me a day's retreat where I could dialogue with the Lord and take some time to re-evaluate and re-ignite some purpose to what we're doing here and why.
My purpose as a child of God is to respond to You in love, obedience, gratitude and holiness.
Set apart each of my days with time devoted to our relationship.
Set apart each of my days to declare Your love and faithfulness
Set apart each of my days to declare Your love and faithfulness
Set apart each of my days to confess my disobedience and falling short
Set apart each of my days to give thanks for the good and perfect gifts You give
Set apart each of my days to fight the good fight, battling temptation in the Name of Jesus
Set apart each of my days to worship You reasserting Your incomparable worth
My purpose as a husband and spiritual leader of our household is to love as You loved the Church.
To exhibit Christ’s love to my wife in pursuing her daily with words, touch and affirmation
To exhibit Christ’s love to my wife in speaking honestly and tenderly to her
To exhibit Christ’s love to my wife in being quick to listen and slow to speak
To exhibit Christ’s love to my wife in extending grace quickly and keeping no record
To exhibit Christ’s love to my wife in serving her without being asked
To exhibit Christ’s love to my wife in praying for her needs daily
My purpose as a father to my children is to have compassion on my children.
As You have loved me Father, to always remember my children as a treasure and a gift
As You have loved me Father, to listen to what their little hearts are trying to say
As You have loved me Father, to see discipline as for their good not for my reputation
As You have loved me Father, to speak life-giving words to them as seeds for You to water
As You have loved me Father, to model humility seeking forgiveness when I wrong them
As You have loved me Father, to love them without condition and apart from works
My purpose as a minister of the Gospel is to shine the light of Christ to a darkened world.
So I love, walking securely in your grace and filled with Your all-sufficient love
So I love, remembering I am the chief of sinners yet still perfectly and fully loved in Christ
So I love, extending grace to those desperate for it as well as to those unaware they need it
So I love, praying for humility in seeing others needs as more important than my own
So I love, preaching the Gospel of grace in every circumstance whether spoken or unspoken
So I love, promoting the cause of Christ as one in which I owe my life
Monday, February 20, 2012
A Workout in Humility
From Jeremy Taylor's Rule and Exercises of Holy Living
1. Do not think better of yourself because of any outward circumstance that happens to you.
2. Humility does not consist in criticizing yourself, or wearing ragged clothes or walking around submissively wherever you go.. Humility consists in a realistic opinion of yourself, namely, that you are an unworthy person.
3. When you hold this opinion of yourself, be content that others think the same of you.
4. Nurture a love to do good things in secret, concealed from the eyes of others, and therefore not highly esteemed because of them.
5. Never be ashamed of your birth, your parents, your occupation or your present employment, or the lowly status of any of them.
6. Never say anything, directly or indirectly, that will provoke praise or elicit compliments from others.
7. When you do receive praise for something you have done, take it indifferently and return it to God.
8. Make a good name for yourself by being a person of virtue and humility.
9. Do not take pride in any praise given to you. Rejoice in God who gives gifts others see in you.
10. Do not ask others your faults with the intent or purpose being to have others tell you of your good qualities.
11. When you are slighted by someone or feel undervalued, do not harbor any secret anger, supposing that you actually deserved praise and that they overlooked your value, or that they neglected to praise you because of their own envy.
12. Do not entertain any of the devil's whispers of pride.
13. Take an active part in the praising of others, entertaining their good with delight.
14. Be content when you see or hear that others are doing well in their jobs and with their income, even when you are not.
15. Never compare yourself with others unless it be to advance your impression of them and lower your impression of yourself.
16. Do not constantly try to excuse all of your mistakes. If you have make a mistake, or an oversight, or an indiscretion, confess it plainly, for virtue scorns a lie for its cover.
17. Give God thanks for every weakness, fault and imperfection you have. Accept it as a favor of God, an instrument to resist pride and nurse humility.
18. Do not expose others' weaknesses in order to make them feel less able than you.
19. Remember that what is most important to God is that we submit ourselves and all that we have to him.
1. Do not think better of yourself because of any outward circumstance that happens to you.
2. Humility does not consist in criticizing yourself, or wearing ragged clothes or walking around submissively wherever you go.. Humility consists in a realistic opinion of yourself, namely, that you are an unworthy person.
3. When you hold this opinion of yourself, be content that others think the same of you.
4. Nurture a love to do good things in secret, concealed from the eyes of others, and therefore not highly esteemed because of them.
5. Never be ashamed of your birth, your parents, your occupation or your present employment, or the lowly status of any of them.
6. Never say anything, directly or indirectly, that will provoke praise or elicit compliments from others.
7. When you do receive praise for something you have done, take it indifferently and return it to God.
8. Make a good name for yourself by being a person of virtue and humility.
9. Do not take pride in any praise given to you. Rejoice in God who gives gifts others see in you.
10. Do not ask others your faults with the intent or purpose being to have others tell you of your good qualities.
11. When you are slighted by someone or feel undervalued, do not harbor any secret anger, supposing that you actually deserved praise and that they overlooked your value, or that they neglected to praise you because of their own envy.
12. Do not entertain any of the devil's whispers of pride.
13. Take an active part in the praising of others, entertaining their good with delight.
14. Be content when you see or hear that others are doing well in their jobs and with their income, even when you are not.
15. Never compare yourself with others unless it be to advance your impression of them and lower your impression of yourself.
16. Do not constantly try to excuse all of your mistakes. If you have make a mistake, or an oversight, or an indiscretion, confess it plainly, for virtue scorns a lie for its cover.
17. Give God thanks for every weakness, fault and imperfection you have. Accept it as a favor of God, an instrument to resist pride and nurse humility.
18. Do not expose others' weaknesses in order to make them feel less able than you.
19. Remember that what is most important to God is that we submit ourselves and all that we have to him.
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